A PCL Survivor Milestone ~ KDSI I Annual Gung-Ho Run 2013

I have always wanted to climb Mount Kinabalu to signify my personal accomplishment in surviving the PCL surgery.  Now 5 years later, the dream still hasn’t been realised, early osteoarthritis has begun to set in, both knees have deteriorated that now I’m surviving on gel/fluid insertion into these knees every 15-18 months, and I’m obviously getting older.  I’m actually in constant pain, but it is a condition I’m already accustomed to by now.

I had a chance to put my PCL knee to test recently, a consolation to my inability to make my way to the peak of Mount Kinabalu I suppose. It came in the form of a “Gung-Ho Run” held at my work place.  It comprised rowing for about 500m, running for 10km and finally climbing 303 steps to the top of an 11-storey building.  I was anxious to see if the knee would hold.  So far I’ve only run up to 5km, and have never attempted to exceed that (the regular jogging track around the base where I work makes it convenient for me to limit myself to just 5km).

Early riser

The day started very early for the Gung-Ho Run.  Already at my workplace for breakfast at 0530, Subuh prayer and followed by a warming up session.  Off to the boat house by 0700 and after a quick motivational talk by me (hmmmmm.......trying to motivate 90+ staff officers and trainees, including psyching myself up wasn’t as easy as I thought), we were ready to kick start with the first activity ~ rowing.

About to start

12 crew in each boat, and off we went.......... The heavily strapped pinky (link) didn’t bother me much....alhamdulillah.  Energy level was high, spirit was high.....but steering technique was totally off....hahahaha.......we were zigzagging to get to the marker buoy and were lucky not to finish last.........

The first boat to arrive....not mine

Now all pumped up for the gruelling 10km run...... After putting on my jogging shoes, and a quick warm up on my own to make sure I was ready, I lined up quickly with the rest at the starting point.  A blast of the horn and we were on our way.  The morning was beautiful, and the sun was shining brightly to lift up our spirit. Alhamdulillah the knee felt okay initially, but I knew I just had to maintain my snail pace and not be tempted or intimidated to keep up with the faster runners.  The agony of pushing through the pain barrier was the biggest challenge.  My aim was to complete the run without stopping at all.  Glad I have my wife and kids who drove along and waited at strategic places to cheer me on.  My pride and joy who have always been there for me.........I’m such a lucky guy.

The starting of the run

Still feeling good early on

Morale booster from the kids

At the first check point I was doing relatively okay.....by my standard that isJ  Still running, and maintaining my position just about the middle of the group.  However, after the one hour point, the knee started to bother me but I was determined to keep running.  My pace got much slower, a few runners behind me began to catch up and I was really struggling to keep moving.  A PCL survivor’s quest had to continue........so I just kept on going......”layan jer” as we say it here....

No pain, no gain 

The second check point finally behind me and I was enroute the last quarter of the run........by now drenched in sweat, and soaking wet with water I poured over my head at each check point,  coupled with a wobbly knee that felt like jelly.  Finally, the end was in sight and I could see my family and some of the earlier finishers cheering me on.  To complete the agony of this run, the last 500m was an excruciating gradual climb.  Huffing..... puffing..... sucking as much air as I possibly could and slowly inching my way.....still running all the way till the finishing line.  I was completely spent......... but the run was over.  And yes, I have managed to run the whole way.........

The last 500m uphill....with my twins cheering me on

Fliud replenishment before taking a crack at the 303 steps up the building

The route and my time

But wait......the Gung-Ho Run was not quite over yet.  I still have another 303 steps up the 11-storey building to be conquered.  The pain to complete the climb was obvious......every lift of the leg up each step was a challenge, every level reached made my chest tighter and my breathing faster.......the claustrophobic confine of the stairs did not help one bit as I was deprived of the much needed oxygen............. Then, finally I could hear the clapping and cheering signifying I was only about 20 more steps from completing my dash up the final stretch.  As I reached the peak......my time was read out to me: 1 hour 29 min and 35 sec.  Actually, I can barely remember now how I rang the bell to signify the end of my run.  But rang the bell I did, and this PCL Survivor has finally completed the Gung-Ho Run!!  My family was again there to celebrate this significant milestone with me.  At this point, the spectacular view from atop the building was second to the sensational feeling I had.  Alhamdulillah, I have finally reached the end of this.......running all the way, conquering not only the distance but also the constant pain I felt throughout the run.  Gung-Ho Run 2013 is now a history!!!!

The killer steps.....almost there

Your time ~ 1hr 29min 35sec

Are you okay sir?.....the expression says it all

The triumphant ringing of the bell!!!!  Yes, it's finally over

Looking back I’m glad I did it.  It encapsulates my own personal success in coping with the PCL surgery and the slow battle for recovery.  My life has changed forever as a result of the PCL injury.  This little feat of completing the Gung-Ho Run reaffirmed the belief that the change may not be so bad........in fact I believe being a PCL Survivor has given me a better outlook on life.  As usual, God’s plan is always betterJ As I recuperate from this experience.......ice packs on both knees, a long shower, a short nap and a dip in the base swimming pool; I can’t help to feel really blessed and fortunate.  Alhamdulillah atas semua kurnia Mu Ya Allah, I’m really thankful.  Life is great!!!!!

They are my pillars of strength....always

Nursing the hurting PCL knee

Iced-cold towel.......such a relief

The certificate

Medal for one of the Gung-Ho winners

Conquering My Water Anxiety

Not many people are born comfortable with water. Despite spending more than 9 months cocooned in our mother’s womb surrounded by water, many of us instinctively developed fear for water as we grew up. Many reasons contributed to this intensification of fear, mostly probably to our lack of association with water and lack of encouragement from our surrounding to promote ease when dealing with water.

I have never been that comfortable with water until these past few years. I was not actually afraid of it, and I didn’t panic easily either. I simply didn’t feel comfortable like I did when I was on dry land.

You see, I grew up in a kampung environment at a Felda settlement and playing with water was part of my daily life. Playing in a stream called “Paya Licin” (due to its slippery banks) is one of the fond memories of my childhood days. Then there were the times when I waddled through shallow muddy rivers during dry season looking for fish hiding in the mud, as well as the countless times I braved the rain to play soccer or just simply playing whatever in the monsoon splash. Despite all these experiences with water, I was still not a good swimmer and my dog peddling style resembled more of my scrambling for life especially when I could not feel my feet standing on firm ground underneath.

My childhood days were filled with many days like this

The next phase in my life at a boarding military school saw me learning to swim properly under the care of PE teachers, Mrs Ooi and her late husband Mr Ooi. These two, especially Mrs Ooi with her famous term “Libas Keribas”, helped me to learn the basic techniques of swimming and after 5 years in high school I could already swim the 50m Olympic-size swimming pool.....barely. I was much more comfortable, but the niggling fear of water was still apparent.

On to university days at a place called the United States Naval Academy. You’d imagine me swimming like a fish by the time I completed my degree, but that was not really the case. Yes, I passed every single swimming test there. They were not easy either. I jumped from a 10m platform into the deepest end of the diving pool every semester, I swam 1km in 40 minutes (it’s called “the 40 year swim”) while dressed in full uniform, I treaded water for few long minutes while converting my uniform to become a temporary float and many other swimming tests designed to make us as a capabled swimmer. And yet I found water to be a little intimidating at times.......and I did not welcome the opportunity to jump into water, I’d rather be doing something else......period.

The exact view if you look down from a 10m platform....a big no, no!

The breakthrough came when I was sent to work in France for 2 years. The apartment complex where I stayed had a 25m swimming pool right in front of it. For a good 3-4 months in the summer and early fall, the pool was available, with crystal clear water up to the brim, gesturing me to take a dip. I also met this wonderful neighbour Gill, who could swim back and forth the full length of the pool effortlessly for eternity, while I struggled amateurishly to complete even a full lap. Upon seeing my struggle, he offered a few tips to improve my technique. He helped me to improve my breathing, and he also showed me how to make the most out of every stroke. And as they say it in French......Voila! I got it. My swimming improved tremendously and I didn’t feel the struggle to gasp for air. It was far from perfect, or else I’d be competing in the Olympics.....hahahaha, but I felt a whole lot more comfortable in the water.

The wonderful swimming pool infront of my apartment

The swimming lessons by my neighbour Gill was the turning point

Since then, my anxiety with water has significantly reduced. I can now enjoy swimming as part of an exercise, as well as a form of relaxation and stress buster. It’s God’s gift to me as I have now found a low impact exercise that is kind to my post-PCL operation knee. However, I don’t get to swim as much as I’d like so far. I intend to change that next year. The fact that there is going to be a big pool near where I’m going to be staying should help my cause.

The icing on the cake in my progress to conquer my anxiety with water came through my experience doing Helicopter Underwater Escape Training with navy pilots and helicopter crew. I’ve done it three times so far and the latest one was just last week. Just like the course’s name, it’s about taking turn and tumble underwater while being strapped in the mock-up helicopter, and eventually trying to exit through a designated escape route. It was intimidating to say the least. And doing that at night as well? I did it, I didn’t really enjoy it, but I did it......It got easier the more you do it. And as I said, it helped further to ease my anxiety.

Helicopter Underwater Escape Training (me in white helmet) was all about dealing with your fear being trapped underwater

Dealing with water is never easy for me and I’m glad I’ve got this far by now. Chance of survival in water is significantly enhanced when we have the ability to swim comfortably and we do not panic easily. I would definitely like my children to comprehend both at much younger age. It’s never too late to learn but I sure hope my children don’t have to endure the anxiety as long as I did.

Water survival is "no play play" business

Water is not a natural surrounding for us human being, so we must learn how to be comfortable in it. Try we must, have faith and the rest we leave it to fate.

I even had the opportunity to enjoy water ski at Lake Zurich as I successfully dealt with my water anxiety