My Love For The Game…Intro

Yes I am a crazy rugby fan. I used to be a player, but now my rugby activities revolve around managing and coaching the Royal Malaysian Navy team…..and lounging at home watching rugby games on Astro.

I started playing when I was 15 years old and I officially called it quit when I reached 30. Better to quit when you are still at the top of your game, right? My teams included the Royal Military College (RMC), the Federal Territory Under-18, the United States Naval Academy (USNA), the US Combined Services, the Virginia Beach Rugby Club, the Royal Naval Engineering College (RNEC) Manadon (UK), the RMN Navy ORCA, the Old Putra Association (OPA) Rugby Club, the Malaysian Armed Forces, the National Under-23, and the National Team.

I obviously can’t remember how many games I had played all together…and sadly, I don’t think I’ll be adding any more game to the tally. The PCL knee surgery in 2008 was the definite termination point for me as a player. No regret obviously. When I officially quit earlier at the age of 30, I knew my performance graph wasn’t going any higher, and the only way to go was downhill. And by then I had already accomplished my dream of playing for the country, albeit it being such a short stint. I was also blessed to be part of the Malaysian Armed Forces team that won the Agong Cup 1994, and runner-up of the National 7’s Tournament in the same year, and going further down the time line, my USNA team was 4th in the US Collegiate ranking in 1993 and we beat Army as well, my RMC team won the Jonah Jones Sevens (School) in 1989, the Federal Territory U-18 team I played for finished 3rd in Majlis Sukan Sekolah-Sekolah Malaysia (MSSM) 1988 tournament, and many other invaluable experience over the span of 15 years of non-stop rugby actions.

I was always an overzealous player. I was never a substitute player except when I played for the National Under-23 team. I always played to win regardless of the opponent, even when losing was inevitable……..like when I was due to play against the mighty New Zealand All Blacks, I still went in with the attitude to win (yes, if you must know, we lost the game against the Kiwis but we scored first and were trailing 14-7 at half time….and second half, yup..the flood gate opened at we eventually lost 35-7).

One thing for sure though….skills did not come easy to me, I had to work extra hard to acquire them. Unlike some people who seemed to be blessed with rugby flair, my skills were developed through countless drills and practices, blood sweat and tears, and…dreams. I dreamt of doing things on the field, I rehearsed them my mind…and that had helped me tremendously to improve my game.

Believe it or not, I almost gave up rugby for athletics….not many people know about this. But I’m glad I didn’t. I loved the 100m, 200m and 400m sprints, and the relays. I was fast, but probably was only fast enough for school competitions. But the speed gave me the extra edge in rugby. My coach at USNA was the one who helped me to discover my true potential, and thanks to him…I always believed that I could reach the sky.

Today, I get my adrenaline rush watching my Navy ORCA boys slug it out while I cheer them on at the side line. I believe that the team has a lot of potential, but we are still a long way to go. We are the underdogs with underdog’s mindset. We will remain as underdogs for a long time, but my dream is to turn them around to become underdogs with the mindset of champions. It’s a long shot….but that won’t stop me from trying. I have seen the glimpse of our true potential….I just hope that we can produce it more consistently.

I would like my era as the helm of Navy ORCA to be different. I designed a new team logo to give the team a new sense of purpose (photo). I introduced a new “Game Plan” that continues to evolve as the players become more comfortable with it, I changed some players positions in order to discover their true potential (some involve pretty drastic change of positions...like from centre to front row forward), and many other schemes aimed at improving our game. And as always, the camaraderie within the team is given the utmost focus. Rugby is supposed to be fun not just when the game is on.

I am a happy man when it comes to rugby. I love it, I live it…..and I would like to share the love for the game with as many as possible. So, let’s bring it on, try it if you haven’t…..I promise you’ll enjoy the ride.

~ ~ Special thanks my even crazier USNA coach Mike Flanagan who transformed my game and made me believe, and Mr Ooi Loh Kah who coached me into the game (using leather "Mitre" rugby balls) and laid the permanent rugby foundation in me ~ ~

My Gentle Reminder

I know it’s been ages since I last put an entry into my Blog. With the internet connection unavailable in my temporary office, and together with TM telling me that fibre optic cables still not available in my new housing area (I got the CF more than 6 months ago if you can call that new), my ability to access the world wide web facilities had been very scarce these past two months.

I finally have the buzzing of internet broadband at home since yesterday, and life is now back to normal. Two decades ago my life was just fine without the internet, and talking through a fixed line phone still got the job done. Looking back, my life was very much different back then. There was no electricity initially in my Felda house. I grew up having to clean my nose every morning from traces of ‘jelaga’ (carbon deposit) from the kerosene lamps (photo) that illuminated the small space of our living room. From the kerosene lamp we progressively evolved to using gasoline lamp, to car battery, to generator and finally to using the electricity that now comes on at the flick of a switch (potik topi, tongah menyalo). What internet, what mobile phone, what CD/VCD/DVD,MP3/4/5/6.....etc.

And now, without the internet at my fingertips for the past 2 months, my life had become somewhat challenged. I had difficulty to access my email accounts, I found it difficult to pay my bills on-line (had to depend on the kindness of those with mobile broadband), I couldn’t access my Facebook regularly, I couldn’t read on-line newspaper….basically, I had to somehow live without all the convenience that came with easy internet connection. And I couldn’t update my blog obviously. I had this niggling feeling that there was this gap…..at home and at the office. “Where can I get connected….” And all those troubles came because of no easy access to internet. Wow….

So I’m reminding myself, my life is very blessed. Alhamdulillah.

Internet connection…your short absence was a gentle reminder for me to be more thankful for everything good that I’ve been bestowed with. Alhamdulillah.

My Ramadhan Score Card

In my previous posting I wrote about a few ‘Ramadhan Resolutions’ I would like to undertake. Well, Ramadhan is over, I haven’t started my Puasa Enam and work stress is creeping in fast, so before I lose track of time and before I get swarmed with other things labelled as ‘I’m your priority now!!’, I’d better get this out of the way.

I am glad I gave it a thought to prepare myself for the holy month. Instead of just ‘enduring’ it, I had some missions to accomplish. And my self-reflection after a full month of fasting based on the said resolutions can be summarised as follows (minus some details which are between me and the Almighty):

1. I will refrain from coffee and I will not go back to sleep after sahur.
I suffered from caffeine withdrawal syndrome the first few days of my coffee abstinence. I felt better once the slight headache and buzzing I felt went away. Yes, I did stay away from coffee for the whole month. I have now started to consume coffee again, but I remain moderate. Plain water, tea and Milo are my best buddies now and I wish to keep it that way. As for not sleeping after sahur, I think the additional time I had was normally well used to either read the Quran or clean the house. Well, I did go back to sleep a few times, and I completely missed sahur twice…blamed it on the early morning English Premier League games and my occasional sheer indulgence in catching up with some zzzzz….

2. I will reduce the trips to Ramadhan bazaar, and exercise moderation if I do go there (the once a year popiah and kuih talam will be my biggest challenge).
I think I passed this one with flying colours….zilch trip to the daily food fiesta, and the best part, I was not even tempted…Well, except for the sole purchase of a murtabak, which by the way, was bought at an isolated location far away from the Ramadhan Bazaar….So, technically that did not amount to a visit to the bazaar…(by my technical definition of course).

3. I will go to tarawih more often; the number of tarawih I go to must exceed all my jari tangan..:)
Well, a bit yo-yo-like on this one. I was all for going to the mosque for tarawih prayers, and I did just that for the first 4 nights. Then my right knee had a different idea, and the discomfort and pain I felt led me to believe that I’d better of doing the prayers at home. I also prayed for my knee to heel. And miraculously, Alhamdulillah, the knee ‘popped’ after 4 agonising days and I felt much better after that. I then resumed going to the mosque, though not as frequent as I should. I did the tarawih at home for most days that I didn’t go to the mosque…but there were also days when I missed them completely…..Overall, more days doing tarawih than last year, which exceeded the number of all my jari tangan and kaki. Must try to be more focused (khusyuk) coz there were times when my mind was way off to God knows where…And finally, I don’t really know how I did on this one as only Allah knows. …Terimalah amalan ku Ya Allah…Amin.

4. I will stick to my buka puasa routine; kurma, drink and light meal....go for maghrib, isya and tarawih...then only the proper meal. My sahur routine shall remain the same; oat meal drinks or other similar drinks.
I managed to adhere to this routine most of the the time, and as a result I shed some unwanted kilos by the end of Ramadhan…Unfortunately, I regained most of them back after the hari raya break:). I tried to eat like normal non-fasting days, and it worked. However, since my wife cooked everything we had on the table (due to our self-imposed ban on visits to the Ramadhan bazaar), sometimes there were leftovers which I diligently tried to finished during sahur to avoid wasting them. The overall result, I felt better, healthier and wide awake during tarawih prayers. This routine is highly recommended for those who want to lose weight, or want to feel better while performing tarawih prayers. Definitely a keeper for next Ramadhan.

5. I will attempt at making my ibadat more meaningful; more khusyuk in my prayers, reading the Quran and yassin for myself and for Abah, do more ibadat that is more "people-related", less talk and more work (yup, lots of papers to write, just have to choose the ones which carry more impact).
I tried…I tried…and no idea how I had performed…all I can say is that I did try. I tried to revive the tradition of giving food (not exchanging food) to the neighbours. We put the food in disposable containers with the hope that the neighbours would not feel obliged to return the favour…unless they want to. My daughters really enjoyed this, pressing the neighbours’ doorbells and saying aloud ‘Assalamualaikum’ and then giving the food. My gain - I think I got to know my neighbours a little bit more now (I just moved in about two months earlier) and I hope my daughters also took away some positive values from the activities.

6. I will find time to hang those pictures on the wall of my new house....lots of them. I guess this is my form of exercise for this Ramadhan.
I only managed to finished my daughters’ room..that’s it. Got other things to do lahhh. Will have to find time to do up my room and the guest room soon.

And that’s it. Now, I must find time to do the Puasa Enam....and try to visit more people on my own accord, not just when invited to their Open House. Sigh....It's not hard to guess which way the scale is tilting the next time I weigh myself....

A Tribute To My English Teacher

It’s marvellous what Facebook can accomplish for you. One of the latest wonders at my end was the chance to get in touch with an English teacher who, little that she knew, played a significant part in making me who I am today.

Yes, Ms Amar Shobha Sarna......it’s you, and this is a tribute to you.

She came into my Set B English Class for the first time in 1986. I was really nervous during this first encounter as her introduction was not words from her mouth but words that she listed on the board. The ‘rules’ as she explained, were what we had to adhere to in order to survive her lessons. She was a stark contrast from all the teachers who had taught me English before. She came across as realllllly GARANG and I was reallllly scared.

Prelude ~~~~ You see...I came from Jengka where nobody spoke English. Even the English teachers there didn’t speak English to us. They coached us on how to answer the English paper during Penilaian Darjah 5 exam, but did little else to enhance our grasp of the language. Considering the circumstances, I shouldn’t blame them though. And I actually did fairly well in the exam, being one of the three who managed to secure an ‘A’ out of about 100 students in the class. As a young boy, I had always wondered why the Malay subtitle for English programmes on TV didn’t seem to reflect what was actually being said. The punch line in the subtitle didn’t seem funny in ‘Mind Your Language’ but the laughter I heard in the backdrop of the show indicated somebody had definitely said something really funny. I thought then that it would be wonderful if I knew the language and be able to better enjoy shows like Combat and the Incredible Hulk. Then, against all odds, I had the opportunity to enrol into the Royal Military College (RMC). Expectedly, after the placement exam, I found myself in one of the weakest English classes and struggled throughout my first year while at the same time feeling intimidated by others who spoke English as if it was their mother tongue. I don’t know how I did it but managed to somehow climb my way out into Set B the following year and remained there for the next four years.

Ultimately, I found out that I had no reason to be afraid of her. In fact, her influence on me grew and the three years she taught me English was filled with lots of delightful memories. Miss Shobha as she was fondly known turned out to be a very dedicated teacher who devoted her time to help us comprehend the English language. Most of us in her Set B had to work hard no doubt, we had our fair share of being scolded by her as well...oh yes mam, I told you she was GARANG...but despite that she was a big influence on me....Why???? Because....‘SHE MADE ME BELIEVE’. She made me believe that I could speak the English language, she made me believe that I could do well in SPM, ......hey, she even made me believe that I could do well in my English 1119 exam....and ultimately she made me believe that I could be somebody...that I could accomplish things....that I could taste SUCCESS.

Miss Shobha paid attention to every little detail of our work. She diligently read every word of our essays. She was always ahead of all the little tricks we tried to pull (like ‘extracting’ sentences from the Reader’s Digest.....ha..ha..it wasn’t me:), it was my good buddy who’s now in the air force). She gave out little rewards like postcards and bookmarks to those who did well in assignments. She insisted and made sure that nobody...I really mean nobody...was late in submitting his work (we were just simply scared of the probable consequences).

At the end of my Form 4, when I found out that my English result was good enough to get me promoted to Set A, she pulled me aside and convinced me to remain in her Set B so that she could help me better prepare for SPM and 1119 exams the following year. She didn’t have to convince me...I was actually glad she offered me the opportunity to remain in her class. SPM English was one thing, but 1119 English was a completely different ball game. However, despite the seemingly impossible task of passing the 1119 exam (especially for those in Set B like me), she worked hard to prepare us for it...at times harder than us. I didn’t get an A, but the result I got surprised a lot of people...it even surprised me. And as expected I got an A for English in SPM.

She has always remained as my favourite teacher all this while...the same as Mike Flanagan as my favourite coach (Yes, you guess it, there’s going to be a tribute to him as well in the future).

She was like an angel who touched so many hearts...and changed many lives...she changed mine for sure.... and for that I’m forever indebted to her.

Ms Amar Shobha Sarna....thank you very very much from the very bottom of my heart......you are the best.

The WRONGs and RIGHTs of parading the head of a dead animal .....and the subsequent public dialogue

A group of disgruntled people supposedly representing the residents of a housing area (are they really???) recently paraded a cow’s head as a sign of protest against the plan to relocate a Hindu temple to their area. Then the ensuing dialogue between the disgruntled people and the state authority turned rowdy, abusive and out of control. I watched online the video of the demonstration, and the eventual dialogue (if you can call it that) between the enraged people and the state authority.

I am neither well-versed in the game of politics nor bothered which political party each of the involved quarters supposedly represent, but I do believe there were so many WRONGs in the way this whole deal turned out.

-To march a dead animal ‘s head in the manner they did….WRONG.
-To step on and kick the dead animal’s head to demonstrate their feeling….WRONG.
-To claim the head was used to represent “stupidity” ….WRONG. Please....lah
-To use abusive language and to shout profanity….WRONG.
-To use abusive language and to “shout” profanity (virtual shouting I’d call it) when commenting online about both the demo and the dialogue….WRONG. Very wrong….uncivilised response to uncivilised act.
-To scream and shout and think that people will take you seriously….WRONG.
-To carry a banner saying “Take Beer” (Takbir??) during the demonstration….WRONG. What does the sale of beer in Selangor have anything to do with the relocation of the temple?
-To think that people support their actions….WRONG.
-To pull a chair from under somebody as he was trying to sit down….WRONG and very immature.
-To say they are championing Islamic cause….WRONG.
-To think that they are patriotic (one of the very loud and abusive guys was actually wearing 1Malaysia ball cap) ….WRONG.
-To incite racism….WRONG.

-To spur religious tension....WRONG.
-To say that they are “biadap” because the state authority (through actions or lack of) taught them to do so….WRONG.
-To make this a political issue….WRONG.
-To make this a racial issue….WRONG.
-To say their issue is about loud noise??? ….WRONG.
-To say their issue is about smell??? ….WRONG.
-To say their issue is about increase in crime rate??? ….WRONG.
-That nothing was done to stop the procession when it happened….WRONG.
-That the culprits are still at large….WRONG.
-That there are people who have the cheek to defend the march and the way people behaved at the dialogue….WRONG.
-That there are people using these shameful incidents for personal and political mileage….WRONG.

Don’t get me WRONG. The people have the RIGHT not to feel RIGHT about the relocation plan. They are RIGHfully RIGHT to have an opinion about it but they are not using the RIGHT approach in order to get the RIGHT response from the authority. I don’t think I’m in the RIGHT position to say whether the state government is RIGHT or the disgruntled people are RIGHT... .being apolitical and all...but RIGHT now I just feel that they should not feel alRIGHT about what they did and said....And after the many WRONGs that were witnessed during those sad occasions, I think we Malaysians still have a long way to go achieve racial harmony. And similar issues will surely crop up in the future and continue to burden our conscience.

Shame on us Malaysians....and I pretty certain I’m RIGHT about this.

My Take On Iftar Invitation At A Pricey Place

We are more than half way through the whole month. I guess an intermediate reflection on my resolutions seems inappropriate at this stage. Obviously, I can’t judge my own performance…and I only hope that God Almighty will accept my amalan…….InsyAllah.

So far this Ramadhan, I have only been to one Iftar invitation and it was quite an experience. It was at a fairly nice place…of course when the price per head was in the region of RM80, you’d have to say by default it was supposed to be nice. As it turned out…the food was decent but it the whole experience made we wonder….was it all worth it. The word that kept buzzing in my head throughout the occasion was "stampede"…and many other synonyms. The alleys were narrow, people piled their plates with food (I know one of my friends would describe this as …kucing lompatpun tak lepas, literally translated as a cat will fail to leap over it), and that was only the beginning. The Qs were expectedly long…but what really bugged me was the feeling that I was back in military high school….holding my tray in line waiting for food to be served. Only this was worse, because I felt pressured to move quickly leaving me with little time to contemplate…"let see….. beef or chicken or lamb or fish or satay or the other beef, or the other chicken, or the other lamb or the other fish or the other satay….". No…no…this is Iftar at a nice place where you pay RM80 for your meal…so don’t think, juts move along. I could just feel the little "nudge" from behind every time I needed that additional nanosecond to decide. No wonder people didn’t contemplate, they just piled everything in and move along happily. And the thing was…the stampede continued on, before and during Iftar and up to at least 8.30 pm.

Anyway, I just pity this one makcik who decided to go for Gearbox Soup to start her Iftar…well, I failed to notice the many other food on her table but obviously the soup stood out like a sore thumb. I pity her because she sat right at the entrance of the buffet line and everybody who passed by would give her the OMG look when they saw the humongous cow’s knee in front of her. And it was 15 minutes away from Iftar when I saw that….it must had been the longest 15 minutes in her life I’d imagine. I guessed once Iftar arrived, people would be pretty much engrossed in their own devouring task that the image of a makcik staring at a huge knuckle would be long forgotten….and as it turned out, 3 people at my table tried the soup later and testified it was not that great…..I sure hope for the makcik’s sake, that she liked it.

I was in a great company…they paid for the meal so obviously I was expected to have a jovial time. But with the Indonesian band singing along in the background, it was rather difficult to have a decent conversation…what more with the need to join the stampede from time to time as I migrated from fruits to entrée to main course and finally to ice cream. The following band was even beyond my comprehension. They happily sang along when right next to the stage was a big screen showing "Forum Perdana"….talking about making difficult choice….and even more difficult when the band had two girls in skimpy outfits (the choice between good and evil didn’t get any clearer than this). I must confessed that I did look…(just look:)).., but hey….I thought they couldn’t have this kind of thing in Shah Alam….Anyway, after 10 minutes the hotel staff came to their senses and flipped the channel and the screen was showing a football game…..so it was easier I guessed for people to just concentrate on the band …and the mini skirt, minus the guilty feeling:).

I left the place with a mixed feeling….and without elaborating further, I was pretty sure I’d be better off having the Iftar at home, in the company of my beloved wife and kids……albeit probably having only 3 dishes, and having to chase after my kids to ensure they finish their meal…and I would probably not miss my Tarawih….which I did that day….

Last I look at my calendar, I have 3 more Iftar invitations to go to (and I have turned down a few already)……..is it going to be any better????

My Ramadhan...What It Means To Me

Ramadhan is here again...I first started fasting when I was 7, completing a meagre 6 days initially. By the time I was 10, it had become part of my annual routine to complete the whole deal. I had no problem fasting even when I had to play full 80 minute rugby games. But the meaning of Ramadhan did not make much impact back then.....physically, fasting has never been that difficult for me.

......Yes, we've all heard the amazing benefits one can strife to gain during this holy month. It's a battle against Nafsu, it's time to quadruple our ibadah....tarawih, sedekah, taubat etc

......But really, when the tailors are all fully booked for baju raya order even before the month start (I am as guilty for trying to find a tailor for my baju raya a few days before Ramadhan, what am I thinking....I get that "are you crazy" look every time.) , it makes me wonder if I am doing this right.

......Then there's all this Ramadhan Bazaar craze that sweeps the country, and Muslims and non-Muslim alike swarm these bazaars to indulge in the food fiesta.....though at one point or another, some of the food goes to waste (Yup...been there, done that...I am just as guilty). I was told/I read that in some countries food business literally come to a halt during Ramadhan as most traders prefer to give sedekah (free food in our country means go eat at the mosque).

......The mosques are filled to the brim with "determined" Jamaah at the beginning of Ramadhan....but the number rapindly dwindles as the spirit of hari raya begins to creep in....hmmm. And some Imams who recite lengthy Quran verses during the Tarawih...I can still handle it at this age but I wonder if the old folks can remain khusyuk as they struggle to remain standing. (Yes, I can "kira dengan jari" the number of days I went for tarawih last year, though the number was a bit bigger if you count the tarawih I did alone at home).

......For what ever reason, I was inspired last Ramadhan to "try" these two adhoc resolutions; to stay away from coffee and to remain awake after sahur (I got up at about 5.15am for sahur). Surprisingly, I almost succeeded in my attempt to refrain from coffee (I had coffee once during Buka Puasa invitation) and as far as I could remember, I had managed to resist going back to sleep after sahur. The additional time I had in those early mornings were effectively used to clean up the house, to prepare susu for my daughter, to take out the trash and to do other chores...

......I also did this though it was not part of the resolution; I eat light meal for buka puasa, went for tarawih and had dinner later after tarawih. It felt better as I was normally not sleepy during the prayers, and I lost weight!!!!

......So this year, I guess I must do better...both spiritually and physically. I have no excuse really, with the syaitan being chained...it's the battle between me and my Nafsu, and subsequently it's my great opportunity for "self-reflection".

......So these are the important things for me this Ramadhan....and I guess I'll brave myself to review my own performance once the month is over....

1. I will refrain from coffee and I will not go back to sleep after sahur.

2. I will reduce the trips to ramadhan bazaar, and exercise moderation if I do go there (the once a year popiah and kuih talam will be my biggest challenge).

3. I will go to tarawih more often; the number of tarawih I go to must exceed all my jari tangan..:)

4. I will stick to my buka puasa routine; kurma, drink and light meal....go for maghrib, isya and tarawih...then only the proper meal. My sahur routine shall remain the same; oat meal drinks or other similar drinks.

5. I will attempt at making my ibadat more meaningful; more khusyuk in my prayers, reading the Quran and yassin for myself and for Abah, do more ibadat that is more "people-related", less talk and more work (yup, lots of papers to write, just have to choose the ones which carry more impact).

6. I will find time to hang those pictures on the wall of my new house....lots of them. I guess this is my form of exercise for this Ramadhan.


Ramadhan is here shortly......and I hope these resolutions will help me to "hayati" the meaning of it better than I did the previous years. Amin.....