Thursday, September 13, 2012

As the Page Turns

Yes, time really flies and I'm not doing a great job at keeping up with it.  It's already September and I've only got a single entry to show for this year so far.

Too many things happening around me lately, and sometimes the situations made me feel really small.  I have a big heart though, that I know.  So plough through I must, with a newly found conviction I strife. As I know my being has a purpose, albeit insignificant as it appears to some.  Small changes I set as my objectives, mindsets change I seek, the young minds as my target.........future leaders I hope to shape.    I know I am navigating through unchartered water.  While the final destination is clear, the journey ahead seems long and arduous............ May Allah give me strength as I do not know how my story will end.

I know my blog entry will be few and far between as my time and energy will be spent elsewhere.  I am normally energetic during the day but almost totally completely spent as the night falls.  Anxiety creeps in at times, self-doubt does appear occasionally, but they quickly dissipate when I see the glimpse of hope, the potential waiting to be unearthed and the greatness in some of the people I meet.  I am not alone in this battle after all, and as our strength combines at my helm, I truly hope that our deeds will be written as ibadah to compensate for all the shortcomings and wrongdoings we may have committed thus far.  And hopefully, we will live to see the fruit of our labour.  That is the day I hope to see, a day that marks the coming of age for a could-be giant, which so far is still searching to find its footing.

Fair Winds and Following Seas
Sedia Berkorban

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Dry Spell

After the longest dry spell EVER, this is my first entry for 2012. It’s rather pathetic really, I know.  But I must also declare that while this entry breaks the long silence, it does not indicate the beginning of continuous stream of thoughts coming from my end either.  I’m doing this merely to say that this BLOG is still alive and that I have all the intention to keep it going.  I guess after completing a Masters Programme where writing was part of my daily struggle for survival I just needed to give myself a break........too long a break as I now discover….hahahahaha.

What do I want to say here?  Firstly, I want to say that I’ve discovered a new threshold in my own capacity to endure stress, pressure and pain.  Being a student again and stretching myself to complete all the assignments particularly my thesis really put me under a lot of strain........Did I manage it well?  Not sure, but with the amazing results I got I sure hope so.  The experience also re-affirmed the conviction that the more you give the more you get back.....and it comes with a bonus, peace in your heart no money can buy.  Sadly, I also discovered some of the ugliest sides of human being.  Unbelievable and incomprehensible as they seemed to me, I still believe that there were positive values to be gained......although easier said than done.  I am thankful for the opportunities that have allowed me to see many attributes in human beings.  Generosity, kindness, caring, empathy, compassion etc exist in many forms..........if we open our heart to see them, then we’ll see them in abundance, but if our hearts seek the opposite then we’ll only see hatred, deceit, betrayal and other similar destructive values.....and that’s sad.  I am still learning about human attributes; mine as well as others’.  It’s a life-long journey of learning for sure, and I hope and pray that the experience will only affect me positively and make me a better person.  Amin.