Conquering My Water Anxiety

Not many people are born comfortable with water. Despite spending more than 9 months cocooned in our mother’s womb surrounded by water, many of us instinctively developed fear for water as we grew up. Many reasons contributed to this intensification of fear, mostly probably to our lack of association with water and lack of encouragement from our surrounding to promote ease when dealing with water.

I have never been that comfortable with water until these past few years. I was not actually afraid of it, and I didn’t panic easily either. I simply didn’t feel comfortable like I did when I was on dry land.

You see, I grew up in a kampung environment at a Felda settlement and playing with water was part of my daily life. Playing in a stream called “Paya Licin” (due to its slippery banks) is one of the fond memories of my childhood days. Then there were the times when I waddled through shallow muddy rivers during dry season looking for fish hiding in the mud, as well as the countless times I braved the rain to play soccer or just simply playing whatever in the monsoon splash. Despite all these experiences with water, I was still not a good swimmer and my dog peddling style resembled more of my scrambling for life especially when I could not feel my feet standing on firm ground underneath.

My childhood days were filled with many days like this

The next phase in my life at a boarding military school saw me learning to swim properly under the care of PE teachers, Mrs Ooi and her late husband Mr Ooi. These two, especially Mrs Ooi with her famous term “Libas Keribas”, helped me to learn the basic techniques of swimming and after 5 years in high school I could already swim the 50m Olympic-size swimming pool.....barely. I was much more comfortable, but the niggling fear of water was still apparent.

On to university days at a place called the United States Naval Academy. You’d imagine me swimming like a fish by the time I completed my degree, but that was not really the case. Yes, I passed every single swimming test there. They were not easy either. I jumped from a 10m platform into the deepest end of the diving pool every semester, I swam 1km in 40 minutes (it’s called “the 40 year swim”) while dressed in full uniform, I treaded water for few long minutes while converting my uniform to become a temporary float and many other swimming tests designed to make us as a capabled swimmer. And yet I found water to be a little intimidating at times.......and I did not welcome the opportunity to jump into water, I’d rather be doing something else......period.

The exact view if you look down from a 10m platform....a big no, no!

The breakthrough came when I was sent to work in France for 2 years. The apartment complex where I stayed had a 25m swimming pool right in front of it. For a good 3-4 months in the summer and early fall, the pool was available, with crystal clear water up to the brim, gesturing me to take a dip. I also met this wonderful neighbour Gill, who could swim back and forth the full length of the pool effortlessly for eternity, while I struggled amateurishly to complete even a full lap. Upon seeing my struggle, he offered a few tips to improve my technique. He helped me to improve my breathing, and he also showed me how to make the most out of every stroke. And as they say it in French......Voila! I got it. My swimming improved tremendously and I didn’t feel the struggle to gasp for air. It was far from perfect, or else I’d be competing in the Olympics.....hahahaha, but I felt a whole lot more comfortable in the water.

The wonderful swimming pool infront of my apartment

The swimming lessons by my neighbour Gill was the turning point

Since then, my anxiety with water has significantly reduced. I can now enjoy swimming as part of an exercise, as well as a form of relaxation and stress buster. It’s God’s gift to me as I have now found a low impact exercise that is kind to my post-PCL operation knee. However, I don’t get to swim as much as I’d like so far. I intend to change that next year. The fact that there is going to be a big pool near where I’m going to be staying should help my cause.

The icing on the cake in my progress to conquer my anxiety with water came through my experience doing Helicopter Underwater Escape Training with navy pilots and helicopter crew. I’ve done it three times so far and the latest one was just last week. Just like the course’s name, it’s about taking turn and tumble underwater while being strapped in the mock-up helicopter, and eventually trying to exit through a designated escape route. It was intimidating to say the least. And doing that at night as well? I did it, I didn’t really enjoy it, but I did it......It got easier the more you do it. And as I said, it helped further to ease my anxiety.

Helicopter Underwater Escape Training (me in white helmet) was all about dealing with your fear being trapped underwater

Dealing with water is never easy for me and I’m glad I’ve got this far by now. Chance of survival in water is significantly enhanced when we have the ability to swim comfortably and we do not panic easily. I would definitely like my children to comprehend both at much younger age. It’s never too late to learn but I sure hope my children don’t have to endure the anxiety as long as I did.

Water survival is "no play play" business

Water is not a natural surrounding for us human being, so we must learn how to be comfortable in it. Try we must, have faith and the rest we leave it to fate.

I even had the opportunity to enjoy water ski at Lake Zurich as I successfully dealt with my water anxiety

Why can’t we get it right the first time?

Prelude ~ My friend from Switzerland told me once that in his country, people do not need to re-confirm their appointments. He said once you’ve agreed, both parties will undertake the commitment to fulfil their obligation without having to be reminded to do so. Sounds really wonderful. When re-work/correction/re-check are not required, we have more time to attend to other pressing issues. Wastage goes down, efficiency goes up....voila, we have a very productive society and everybody goes home a happy camper in this beloved Bolehland. Sadly, more often than not, that is not the case here.

Judging from my recent encounters with various inefficiencies and obstacles when dealing with our own systems, I am afraid to concede that our society is a long way from becoming a world class......and to think that Tun Mahathir’s Vision 2020 is not too far down the corner already.....sigh...come on, wake up!!!!.

I was recently given the run around trying to register my twins for Year 1. I finally got my order to transfer to KL in late November, leaving me with no choice but to register my kids well beyond the stipulated deadline. I went to the state education department, and was told that all registration must be done online. Registration online –checked! I went to the preferred school after that but was told they have no say whether my kids can attend school there, ‘school placement will be done by the district education department-via online’. After waiting for the ‘2 week window’ for the process to take its due course, and still no news of the school for my kids, I decided then to go to the district education department. To my disbelief there were at least a hundred disgruntled parents there with all sorts of issues ranging from not being able to send their kids the school they prefer, to their kids being sent to schools in a different district. And to think there were that many ‘re-work/correction/re-check’ that had to be done.......what an inefficient on-line system!!! Anyway, in my case, I was told that while I’d done my registration on-line, the school had yet to ‘confirm’ my registration online, despite my showing of the school’s stamp on my kids’ birth certificates. No...no...it has to be done online. I was dumbfounded but decided to remain patience......and asked, 'what does it take now for the process to move forward'. The lady said, ‘give it a week for the school to confirm online, and re-check after that’. I decided to go back to the school to ‘drive’ the process. True enough, with a little insistence, the ‘confirmation’ was done within half an hour-via online! I wanted to go back to the district education department immediately but was told earlier that the officer who could make the decision was not around. ‘You can call him personally on Wednesday when he comes back....Here’s his number’. Thank you!!! So, came Wednesday, I gave the gentlemen a call. He was very nice, and told me that he took extra effort to rectify all outstanding school placements and asked me to just check the system. Believing this could be the end of my misery I gave the system another try. And a false hope it was as the status had not changed beyond what I saw on Monday. A little agitated, I gave the guy another call. He said, ‘I may have overlooked some names, I’ll rectify them today and you should see it by tomorrow. If it’s still not rectified then, call me back right away’. Surprise...surprise...came next day, still no school for my kids in the system. He said, 'the system has been very slow, I will try to do it this weekend, so please check again on Monday'. Sigh....double sigh.....Still no confirmation of school for my twins......We are still at the ‘we’ll try’ stage and don’t know how long before we can get to ‘we can confirm’ stage.

The following are some things that didn't go right the first time related to my sister’s wedding preparation:

~ The hall for the wedding was filthy with trash and I had to clean it up myself. The guy responsible promised to send somebody to clean the mess up (which should have been cleaned before the hall was handed over to us). That somebody never arrived and the person responsible eventually simply refused to answer our calls.

~ The lady who was supposed to prepare the ‘pelamin’ on stage promised to come to set it up in late afternoon before the wedding day, then delayed it till early night, then delayed it again till before 11pm, and her final promise was before the next morning. Last I checked at 0120am, the pelamin was not there and she stopped answering her phone. She quietly set the pelamin up without our presence early next morning, and when we arrived later, we had to re-adjust the setting for the cake cutting ceremony because it was placed too far back. Sooooo very easy to get this one done right the first time and yet, so much rework and adjustment had to be made. After taking into consideration that she also ‘deliberately’ forgot and had to be reminded that she was supposed to provide fresh and not artificial flower bouquet for the bride, as well as trying to escape from her commitment of providing red carpet at the walk way, it’s is safe to assume that I’m not going to recommend her to others.

And this one was my experience dealing with the most famous rugby brand in the world....we are obviously talking about the ‘local’ company representing the brand.

~ How difficult is it to do jersey alteration? Piece of cake you say. That was what they said too.......but the truth is it’s been 8 months!!! ...and still they can’t get it right.

How about trying to change billing addresses and to cancel some services following the news of my transfer to KL? I have already called my credit cards companies, phone & internet service provider, satellite TV company, mobile phone company etc ....they all sounded very helpful and friendly over the phone....at least we’ve got to that stage now in this country. Should I be optimistic and run my hopes way up there that there will be no hick ups? I’d love to be proven wrong....please...please prove me wrong!!!!! However, after weighing the prospects I am already gearing up for another round of phone calls to these companies to straighten things out. As I said, prove me wrong....PLEASE!!!!

Well, I have already accepted that I can’t change the world we live in. I know though that giving up is not an option as we will continue spiralling down if nothing is done now. So let’s start small....let’s fulfil all our little promises and commitment. Let’s get things right the first time.....or at least let’s strife to at least make that a real objective and not accepting anything less unless there is a concrete reason for it. I’ve always believed that the place to start is within my own family. Then on to my dealing with others, be it at work place or in my social encounters with people. Let’s take our promises and commitment more seriously, especially so when we know that the way we react/respond affects others directly or indirectly.

Awal Muharam 1432H - A New Beginning In Many Ways

It's 1 Muharram 1432H, the first day of the new year in the Islamic Calender.  Lots of happening in my life.....too many to mention.  Wish to write blog entries about some of them but I doubt I'll have the luxury of time to do so.  A quick dumping of my thoughts then before I lose them.......

~ My youngest sister got married.  I had the privilege to perform the 'akad nikah' to give her away for marriage.  I was swarmed with the wedding preparation, in crisis mode most of the time but Alhamdulillah it all went well at the end.  The smile of content and happiness I saw on my sister's face was all that I needed to see......

~ I finally got my instruction a few weeks ago to move to KL in early January 2011 to further my study.  Suddenly overwhelmed with all the documentation and other administrative things related to my transfer.  Also had to come up with my thesis title and hopefully it's the right one.....'The Balancing Act-...bla...bla...bla.....'.  A mouthful but we'll see if the topic about the US vs China/India is good enough....

~ Now quickly have to work on the family transfer to Shah Alam to stay with my in laws while I stay separately near the college.......only 30+km separation for one year, I guess we can handle it....

~ Also had to register my twins for Year 1 in Selangor instead of Perak as a result of my transfer.  Obviously we did the registration well beyond the stipulated window to do so......and because of that, had to endure the running around between the state and the district education departments, and our preferred school.....back and forth....back and forth.  As of today, still no confirmation of the school.  My patience has been stretched but I still have much in reserve.....just bring it on.  Will call the 'officer' in-charge tomorrow to see if we can progress beyond 'we'll try...." to "we can confirm.....".  The 'on-line' system in place is really 'in-line' system as we always have to wait....and wait....and wait some more.

~ I finally have the taste of how much preparation is involved when your kids start to go to school.  The uniform alone....I lost track of what we have bought....pinafore, inner shirt, complete baju kurung for primary school and sekolah agama, tudung, shoes, socks, kapur kasut, stationery (hundreds of items, literally), school bags, water bottles etc.  Next will be books, school fees, orientation day and first day of school.  And imagine having to do this for twins......Aren't I glad that my wife is taking this like nothing.....I guess her skill as a former secretary comes really handy in this situation.

~ As a bonus....in the midst of all these cacamerba, I suffered from sleep deprivation, lack of rest and over indulgence in good food (can you call this last one as suffering?) which eventually resulted in my blood pressure 'going upstairs' (naik atas.....?????..hahahahaha).  Border line as the doctor said but I really must do something about it........

However, despite this seemingly ultra chaotic life I've been leading these past few months......I must say that I don't have much to complain about.  Life could be better....but the life I have now is well and truly good enough......Alhamdulillah.

Pendapat Saya Mengenai Kesihatan dan Penjagaan Kanak-Kanak

Tajuk: Anak demam........Apa nak buat?

Anak-anak memerlukan kita apabila mereka sakit

Anak-anak yang sedang membesar masih belum mempunyai sistem pertahanan badan (imunisasi) yang lengkap dan ini mengakibatkan mereka terdedah kepada pelbagai risiko penyakit. Demam, batuk dan selsema adalah masalah yang biasa kita lihat berlaku pada anak-anak kita. Walaupun dalam banyak keadaan, tahap sakit anak-anak kita tidak melarat ke tahap bahaya, namun kadangkala situasi boleh berubah secara mendadak dan kita kena bersedia menghadapi sebarang kemungkinan.

Apa yang saya ingin saya kongsikan adalah persediaan yang kita boleh lakukan bagi menghadapi situasi kecemasan berkaitan demam. Demam walaupun pada dasarnya nampak perkara biasa, namun sebenarnya boleh menjadi kritikal jika kita tak mengawalnya dengan baik. Saya sendiri telah mendengar banyak cerita dan pengalaman kawan-kawan yang menghadapi situasi cemas apabila suhu demam mencecah tahap kritikal sehingga mengakibatkan berlaku ‘tarik’ dan lain-lain komplikasi. Dalam banyak situasi, kebanyakannya ibu bapa tidak monitor peningkatan suhu anak-anak dengan teliti dan hanya kelam-kabut ke hospital apabila berlaku situasi tarik dan sebagainya.

Daripada pengalaman saya, suhu badan anak-anak boleh berubah dalam waktu yang terlalu singkat. Pernah saya dapati suhu anak saya meningkat dari normal kepada hampir kritikal dalam tempoh 10-15 minit sahaja. Kalau anak-anak demam memang saya dan terutamanya isteri terpaksa berjaga malam bagi memantau suhu mereka. Bagaimana nak memantau dengan baik? Mestilah kena ada jangkasuhu (thermometer) yang baik. Saya amat mengesyorkan ibu bapa supaya melabur sedikit bagi membeli jangkasuhu untuk disimpan di rumah. Pelaburan ini bagi saya sendiri telah beberapa kali membantu saya membuat keputusan sewajarnya termasuklah menghantar anak-anak ke klinik pada pukul 3 pagi apabila suhu badan tidak lagi terkawal.

Jangkasuhu yang baik dapat memberi bacaan suhu yang tepat dalam masa beberapa saat

Berdasarkan pembacaan saya, suhu normal badan kita adalah sekitar 35.5ºC-37.5 ºC. Apabila saya dapati suhu badan anak-anak melewati tahap ini, saya dan isteri akan monitor selalu. Dengan adanya jangkasuhu ini, kami biasanya memeriksa suhu badan anak-anak setiap 15-20 minit ataupun setengah jam mengikut keperluan. Kekadang tu anak-anak kita menghadapi ‘panas dalam’ dan badan mereka tidak menunjukkan panas sangat apabila dipegang tetapi bila check dengan jangkasuhu, alamak......dah kritikal. Ini adalah berdasarkan pengalaman saya sendiri maka saya nasihatkan ibu bapa jangan bergantung hanya kepada kaedah ‘belakang tapak tangan’ bagi memeriksa suhu badan anak-anak kita semasa mereka demam.

Apa yang kami lakukan sebagai permulaan apabila anak-anak demam adalah berusaha menurunkan suhu mereka secara manual menggunakan ‘cool fever patch’ iaitu pelekat serap haba yang dibeli di farmasi, lap guna tuala basah dan kalau rasa-rasa tak jalan juga, bagi mereka mandi (walaupun di tengah malam......alhamdulillah anak-anak tak meragam sangat bila dimandikan). Di rumah juga kami biasanya ada ubat demam yang dibekalkan oleh doktor dan digunakan bila suhu nampak dah sukar dikawal. Kalau ubatpun tak jalan dan suhu mula mencecah kritikal, cepat-cepat bawa berjumpa doktor. Pada saya kalau dah melepasi 39 ºC dan tidak terkawal, itu dah kira kritikal dan kena consider nak bawa jumpa doktor. Pada setiap masa, jangkasuhu adalah kawan terbaik kami untuk monitor perkembangan demam anak-anak.

Fever Patch seperti ini boleh didapati dari kedai dan farmasi

Bila dah terpaksa bawa ke klinik atau hospital, perancangan kita juga penting agar tidak membuang masa tercari-cari ke mana nak dituju terutamanya selepas kebanyakan klinik ditutup. Kita kena tahu di mana klinik 24 jam terdekat dan di mana hospital terdekat sekiranya berlaku sebarang kecemasan. Sebagai contoh saya di Manjung, klinik family saya adalah di Poliklinik Mior yang saya amat yakin servisnya (promote sikit bisnes kawan2), diikuti Poliklinik Samudera yang merupakan opsyen berikutnya kerana ia dibuka 24jam dan servisnya juga saya yakin. Klinik Yasmin juga okay tapi saya kena jangka mungkin kena tunggu lama sebab selalu ramai orang so kalau nak cepat saya tak ke sana. Selain itu hospital terdekat bagi menghadapi kecemasan adalah Hospital Manjung kerana di sana ada Pediatrik. Saya tak akan pergi ke hospital Angkatan Tentera kerana saya tahu pada masa ini tiada Pediatrik di sana dan sebarang kecemasan akan dirujuk juga ke Hospital Manjung. Perancangan begini membuatkan saya berasa lebih yakin sekiranya berdepan situasi perlu menghantar anak-anak berjumpa doktor pada bila-bila masa. Nasihat saya kenal pasti di mana Pediatrik terdekat kerana hospital yang tiada pakar ini akan divert kes anak-anak anda ke hospital lain yang mempunyai pakar. Keadaan ini pernah berlaku kepada kawan saya dan masa yang terbuang ekoran menghantar anak ke hospital yang tiada Pediatrik boleh mengundang padah.

Kenal pasti samada pakar Pediatrik ada di hospital terdekat anda 

Rumusannya jangan ambil ringan bila anak-anak kita demam. Pantau suhu kerana suhu mereka boleh berubah mendadak. Melabur sedikit bagi mendapatkan jangkasuhu yang baik. Cuba kawal suhu dengan kaedah sendiri serta sediakan ubat demam yang bersesuaian di rumah. Kenal pasti opsyen klinik dan hospital untuk menghadapi kecemasan pada bila-bila masa terutamanya setelah kebanyakan klinik ditutup. Ketahui di mana lokasi Pediatrik terdekat. Setelah berusaha, kita tawakal dan berdoa semoga anak-anak kita diperlihara Allah swt dan dijauhkan daripada sebarang musibah. InsyaAllah.

Anak demam..........jangan ambil ringan ye!!!!!!!!

My PCL Progress

There is life post PCL Surgery

I have not had the opportunity to see Dr Musa, my Orthopedic, for almost a year. He was away for a course and my past few appointments had been attended to by one of his staff who would just prescribe me with more Glucosamine (Viartril-S) to last me until the next appointment.

A life changing injury

Today I finally got to see Dr Musa for further diagnosis of my progress post PCL surgery. The good news is that the PCL surgery is a huge success (by my definition that is) as the range of motion (ROM) in my left knee is at its optimum with very little pain despite the strenuous load I subjected the knee to during recent activities (removing top soil from my little garden and replacing it with sand which I did in 5 days, followed by completing an 18 hole golf outing by walking).

PCL when it's fully singing & dancing

Now on to the not so good news. My other knee, on the other hand, is not doing very well as it has been affected due to subconscious ‘load shifting’ since the PCL surgery (which aggravated the existing wear and tear damages of my cartilage and further depleted my knee fluid). The knee is swollen a little because of my recent taxing activities, and the right knee has now become the ‘bad’ knee, limiting my movement at times due to pain. The medical term is ‘Osteoarthritis’ which is defined as “A form of arthritis, occurring mainly in older persons, that is characterized by chronic degeneration of the cartilage of the joints”. In older persons......hmmm. I guess I must accept that am an older person now:)

Dr Musa advised me to undergo a ‘scope’ to assess the damage but for now that is just not possible as I am scheduled to further my studies for a year beginning this January. As a stop gap measure, I have been scheduled to received 3 injections of fluid booster (for lack of a better term, will get the proper name next visit) to help augment the depleted knee fluid. I must say that after the first injection today, the right knee feels much better. I am scheduled to receive the subsequent two injections at one week intervals and hopefully the pain will be further reduced then.

I still have full ROM in both knees which is the bench mark for me to deal with this situation. There is pain in both knees, and this has limited a lot of my activities especially those that include running, but for as long as I have full ROM I am still very happy.

Dr Musa also explained at length the difference between the PCL surgery that I underwent which used‘autograft’ (not autograph) and the other version using ‘allograft’. Autograft uses replacement ‘parts’ taken from own body while Allograft uses those from a donor. Interesting!!! He said using allograft is more common in the US, while here in Malaysia autograft is more common as it is a cheaper option. Cheaper vs Better???? No idea.

Anyway, it has been an interesting day for me. As I recuperate at home tonite, I am thinking about Pam, Molly, Steven Chandra and the others who are facing their own battles in PCL recovery. Some are more successful than others, but this is life-long battle for us in the PCL Survivors Club. Today’s news about Osteoarthritis is just one of the many possible challenges that I have to face.  I believe I am ready......I really hope I am.

I must also thank Dr Musa for his tireless effort to help my condition, and after 4 years under his care, I must say that his dedication in doing what he does best as Orthopedic is extremely commendable.  Thank you Dr Musa!!!!!!

Well folks, that where I am with my PCL situation. All the best to all the PCL Survivors out there. May all of us come out on top in our struggle to get better, InsyaAllah. Amin.

My Blog Has Been Visited By the 6oth Country

Some of the countries in my stats

I was hoping to jot in something in my blog this weekend. Unfortunately I was occupied with other things such as attending my daughters’ Graduation & Concert, going to a wedding, working on my little garden and trying to complete an overdue task of writing a 15-page analysis on engineering and logistics support. All of those while trying to shake off the sleepiness and fatigue after spending 30+ hours conducting marathon interviews for 61 people.

Yes, lotsa excuses......

I am going to write in something short and sharp tonite. Just want to share a small milestone for my blog. It has been visited by the 60th country yesterday. The latest one was by somebody from Finland as my blog registered 3,700+ hits up to date. It’s nothing compared to the likes of Dr Mahathir whose blog reached 31 million hits so far. But for somebody like me, that’s more than enough. I am truly happy with the way things are at my home in cyberspace.

Predictably, most hits came from Malaysia and followed by the US as I do have many friends from both countries. So, to all of you who have visited my blog and took the time to read it, thank you very much from the bottom of my heart. I do not know but I can always hope that my writing in this blog has benefited not only me but others as well, directly and indirectly. I will continue on, and thanks to all of you, this little achievement will go a long way to inspire this self-made blogger to put up more meaningful entries in the future.

Terima Kasih. Thank You. Xièxiè. Nandri. Shukran. Merci Beaucoup. Danke. Gracias. Khob-Kun. Grazie. Arigato Gozaimasu ..................... Thank You, Thank You!!!!

My Favourite Barber Shop

I have been going to this same barber shop for the past 10 years. I first started to frequent this place to get my haircut because it was the nearest one to the house I rented when I got married in 2000. I still preferred to go there even after moving to a new house in 2004 which was further away than the one I rented. I moved house again last year, and yet I could not helped but keep returning to the same barber shop every 3 weeks. Wow.....this also reminds me that I’ve stayed in Lumut area for 8 out of the 10 years of being married.....hmmm.

A berbershop pole similar to this can be found at almost any barbershop, including at Kedai Gunting Rambut Muhibah

This particular barber at the shop, a fairly young chap, has been doing my haircut fairly regularly. There are normally between 1-3 barbers in there and more often than not I somehow manage to end up in his chair. He always dresses smartly, donning a neatly pressed long sleeve shirt and long pants. He’ll greet me with a smile when I come in, and will call me ‘Boss’ when it’s my turn.

Anyway, tonight I went there again to this ‘Kedai Gunting Rambut Muhibah’ for my regular haircut. This time the same barber was alone in the shop. He was enjoying a Gardenia Bun, which I later assumed to be his dinner, but at the sight of me entering he quickly stopped eating and said ‘Boss’ and pointed to his barber chair. I told him that I could wait and helped myself to getting a magazine from the rack while he finished his dinner. Within a few minutes I was ushered to sit on his chair to begin the usual routine of making my hair back to military standard again.

This is not the barbershop I'm writing about, although very similar in nature.  I went to this one in Lumut because my friend Chris who came to visit from Switzerland suddenly had the urge to have a 'cheap' haircut.

This guy has his own method in carrying out his duty. And he is very polite I must say. He is very precise, he does the same thing every time he cuts my hair. I like getting a hair cut from him although he does need to be reminded to make my hair shorter on top. He does everything with precision, from using the electric cutter, then moving on to using the scissors…snip!...snip and finally using a freshly opened disposable razor to shave and clean the edges of my hair. The best part is that he will massage my scalp, my neck and my shoulder and finally completing his ritual by cracking my neck. Yup, he must have been trained to do this as the other barbers at the shop stop at only massaging the scalp. He will clear as much hair as possible from my scalp once he is done, and then he will rub cheap hair cologne/tonic all over my hair. The smell…ooolaaalaa but I don’t mind. Straight to the shower immediately upon returning home with no stopover in between! All that pampering for a meagre RM6. What a treat.

Guess how long has he been doing this to my hair.....4 years!!!! Amazing!!! Even more amazing, is the fact that I never knew his name before this. Very sad on my part, yes I know. I do talk to him and the other barbers, but very little I must admit. So tonite I started a conversation with him, Murgis who hails from Chennai, India. Murgis, I assume the spelling based on how his name sounded to me, has been in Malaysia for 4 years now. He learned his trait of cutting hair in India for 1 year before coming to Malaysia to ply his trade here. Murgis is a bachelor and stays at a rented room on the upper floor of a bookshop nearby. He told me that one of the barbers has gone back for a vacation to India for 2 months. His turn to go back will be next year. It’s cheap to travel back to India, ‘Only RM1 ticket with Air Asia’ he said and he further explained that there are frequent flights by Air Asia to Chennai and many other cities in India.

Murgis is from Chennai India

Why am I taking the time to write this entry about Murgis. It is because he has been an important part of my life. His little role of cutting my hair every 3 weeks has been one of the little treats I look forward to. Why??? I guess the 15-20 minutes I sit in his chair is one of the most peaceful moment that I could enjoy after a long and hectic day.....to the extent of almost falling asleep at times. I guess his shop is one of those sanctuaries I have been using to escape a little bit from all the stress and pressure I face daily. A three weekly therapy so to say. Despite the many barbershops in the area, I keep wanting to go here.....for 10 years already. Go figure. So Murgis, thanks to you and thanks to the rest of the barbers at Kedai Gunting Rambut Muhibah. And I regret I only realise this today, so I pledge that I will talk more to Murgis and the other barbers and will try to appreciate them more for their little contribution in making life a little better to me.

Pendapat Saya Mengenai Kesihatan dan Penjagaan Kanak-Kanak

Tajuk: Perlu ke mengawas (supervise) aktiviti/pergerakan anak-anak di luar rumah?

Dari semasa ke semasa kita dikejutkan oleh berita kehilangan anak-anak kecil. Kekadang kita menarik nafas lega apabila anak-anak tersebut ditemui semula, dan kekadang kita turut tumpang sedih dan bersimpati apabila kehilangan anak disusuli berita yang menyayat hati. Selain risiko kes penculikan, tidak kurang juga kita terdengar insiden kemalangan yang menimpa anak-anak kecil. Kecuaian mungkin satu aspek yang mudah digunakan untuk menyalahkan ibu bapa, tapi saya rasa tiada ibu bapa yang sengaja cuai dan mahu perkara buruk berlaku pada anak-anak mereka.

Sebagai ibu bapa kita sentiasa bimbang akan keselamatan anak-anak

Sebagai ibu bapa yang pastinya sayangkan anak-anak bagai menatang minyak yang penuh, kita pastinya tidak mahu perkara seumpama itu berlaku. Walaupun sesuatu yang berlaku adalah takdir, kita harus berusaha dan mengambil langkah sewajarnya bagi mengelakkan risiko insiden seperti kes penculikan dan kemalangan terhadap anak-anak.

Pemahaman terhadap terma mengawas/supervise anak-anak adalah sesuatu yang amat subjektif. Ibu bapa pastinya mempunyai pendapat yang berbeza mengenai keperluan ini. Saya juga mempunyai pendapat saya sendiri mengenai keperluan pengawasan anak-anak semasa berada di luar rumah dan di tempat-tempat awam.

Secara umumnya saya berpendapat anak-anak kecil mesti sentiasa diawasi semasa aktiviti di luar rumah. Tak kiralah semasa mereka bermain di halaman, semasa di taman permainan, semasa keluar shopping dan apa juga aktiviti luar. Tak pasti sampai bila ini perlu dilakukan, terpulang kepada budi bicara ibu bapa. Tapi yang pastinya saya masih lagi melakukannya walaupun anak-anak saya telah berumur 6 tahun.

Sebagai contohnya semasa shopping, saya dan isteri akan tentukan dengan jelas tanggungjawab masing-masing dalam mengawasi anak-anak. Contohnya, isteri akan mengawas si Adik dan saya mengawas si Kakak. Fokus saya adalah kepada Kakak manakala fokus isteri kepada Adik. Harapannya dengan pendekatan ini tidak berlaku situasi “Eh…I ingat you yang jaga” yang boleh mengundang padah.

Tanpa pengawasan anak-anak mudah tertarik untuk merayau tanpa disedari

Sepanjang  masa shopping saya akan pastikan Kakak berada dalam pandangan saya dan tidak akan membiarkan dia berlegar dan merayau sendirian. Radius yang saya benarkan dia bergerak sendiri bergantung kepada di mana kami berada, kalau kawasan lapang seperti di lobi atau foyer saya benarkan dia berlegar jauh sedikit tetapi masih dalam pandangan saya. Kalau kawasan sempit seperti di kawasan gedung yang penuh dengan rak-rak baju atau di pasaraya yang dibahagikan kepada pelbagai alley, saya akan memastikan Kakak berada tidak jauh dari saya. Isteri pula akan melakukan pengawasan yang sama terhadap Adik. Alhamdulillah, setakat ini belum pernah berlaku insiden anak-anak saya tersesat sendirian atau kehilangan semasa kami keluar shopping.

Kalau yang kecil kita boleh letak dalam troli....sentiasa di depan mata

Jangan biarkan anak kecil merayau bersendirian di pasaraya

Kami juga sentiasa mengawasi anak-anak semasa mereka bermain di taman permainan tak kiralah yang di dalam pasaraya atau yang di luar seperti di taman awam. Pertamanya adalah aspek keselamatan yang perlu diawasi. Kekadang peralatan permainan ada yang tidak cukup ciri-ciri keselamatannya untuk peringkat umur tertentu kerana ianya direka untuk pelbagai lapisan umur. Permainan yang membabitkan memanjat dan bergantung mungkin tidak sesuai untuk anak-anak 3 tahun ke bawah tapi amat baik untuk anak-anak 6 tahun. Selain itu pengawasan juga penting kerana sesetangah permainan mengalami kerosakan yang tidak dibaiki dan boleh membahayakan seperti pengadang keselamatan telah patah ataupun lantai yang tercabut. Saya biasanya akan melihat anak-anak bermain dari jauh dan memanggil mereka untuk diberi peringatan sekiranya saya melihat mereka melakukan sesuatu yang boleh membahayakan.

Ke taman permainan memang seronok....tapi masih memerlukan pengawasan

Pengawasan juga perlu bagi memastikan anak-anak kita mempraktikkan ‘etika’ bersosial anak-anak seperti beratur, bertimbang rasa kepada yang lebih kecil, mengikut peraturan (seperti menggunakan tangga dan tidak menyonsong arus memanjat gelongsor dari bawah). Let children be children bukan bermakna membiarkan anak-anak berbuat sesuka hati tanpa memperdulikan aspek keselamatan dan mengabaikan etika sosial yang dinyatakan. Taman permainan anak-anak adalah satu kemudahan moden bagi membolehkan anak-anak kita bermain dalam suasana selesa dan terkawal. Dengan pengawasan betul InsyaAllah anak-anak kita akan dapat bermain sakan dalam suasana selamat dan dapat berinteraksi sesama rakan dalam suasana harmoni. Risiko kemalangan dan perbalahan antara anak-anak pastinya tidak dapat dielakkan 100% namun saya percaya dengan pendekatan yang saya sebutkan ianya dapat kita kurangkan.

Guna tangga, tak guna tangga...yang mana satu???

Kena peka sebab yang kecil nak bermain juga.....pelbagai peringkat umur ada bila di tempat bermain awam

Saya juga turut mengawas anak-anak saya semasa mereka bermain di luar rumah. Sejak kecil sehingga sekarang saya pasti akan berada di luar rumah setiap kali anak-anak saya bermain. Saya berpendapat ini perlu kerana di hadapan rumah saya adalah jalan taman yang dilalui kereta dan motorsikal yang boleh mengundang risiko. Saya biasanya ‘bersidai’ di tepi longkang dan kadang kala mengambil kesempatan berbual dengan jiran semasa mengawasi anak-anak bermain. Saya juga rasa perlu mengawas anak kerana kenderaan yang lalu lalang kekadang bukan main laju dan tidak bertimbang rasa terhadap anak-anak yang bermain di luar. Ada yang siap membunyikan hon memarahi anak-anak apabila terpaksa memperlahankan kenderaan mereka. Tolonglah kepada mereka ini, bawa slow-slow sikit boleh tak......namapun kawasan taman. Selain aspek keselamatan, etika berkawan juga perlu diawasi bagi anak-anak kecil kita kerana abang-abang dan kakak-kakak yang lebih besar mungkin lebih advance vocabulary mereka. Saya sendiri pernah mendengar jenis-jenis perkataan yang digunakan yang amat tidak sesuai untuk anak-anak saya mendengar. Nak tegur mungkin tak perlu kerana kita kena hormati bahawa nilai-nilai yang diterapkan kepada anak-anak adalah berbeza antara sesuatu keluarga dengan yang lain. Maka kalau saya rasa apa yang didengar anak-anak tu tak sesuai, saya akan terangkan kepada mereka bila pulang ke rumah.

Kalau rumah kita ada halaman luas senang anak nak bermain....tapi kebanyakan rumah kita tidak begini

Kalau begini rasanya memang perlu diawasi sepanjang masa

Memang keperluan mengawas anak-anak ini sesuatu yang subjektif dan kita juga tidak mahu anak-anak rasa terkongkong ekoran pengawasan keterlaluan.  Tanggungjawab ini bukan sesuatu yang mudah dan pastinya semakin sukar apabila anak-anak semakin membesar. Apa yang kita boleh lakukan adalah cuba yang terbaik, dan berdoa supaya anak-anak kita dijauhkan dari sebarang bahaya dan membesar sebagai anak-anak yang gembira di samping mempunyai perwatakan dan sahsiah yang baik. InsyaAllah.

Pendapat Saya Mengenai Kesihatan dan Penjagaan Kanak-Kanak

Tajuk: Ibu menyusu badan….ada masalah ke????

Kita kena akui susu ibu adalah yang terbaik untuk tumbesaran bayi pada peringkat awal. Sebaik lahir, kebanyakan hospital mempunyai inisiatif seperti "Kumpulan Sokongan Penyusuan Susu Ibu" bagi menggalakkan ibu yang melahirkan supaya memilih menggunakan susu badan untuk keperluan pemakanan bayinya. Ada pelbagai kebaikan dan khasiat untuk bayi yang menyusu susu ibu kerana susu ini adalah yang sempurna dan terbaik berbanding susu gantian lain seperti susu lembu dalam bentuk formula.

Memang susu ibu yang terbaik

Saya secara personal amat menyokong penyusuan bayi menggunakan susu ibu. Apabila dapat anak, saya memang menggalakkan isteri saya untuk menyusukan bayi kami selama yang mungkin dan hasilnya anak-anak kembar saya menyusu badan sepenuhnya selama setahun setengah.  Selepas itu walaupun mereka mula menyusu formula, anak-anak kembar saya masih meneruskan menyusu badan sehingga berumur 3 tahun.

Apa yang saya ingin kongsikan di sini bukanlah mengenai khasiat menyusu badan kerana kebanyakan kita sedar akan kelebihannya. Tapi mungkin ada yang rasa berat kerana pelbagai kekangan seperti ibu yang bekerja mahupun kerana halangan dan cabaran persekitaran untuk ibu-ibu yang mahu menyusu badan.

Antara cabaran menyusu badan - stok simpanan & tempat menyusu yang sesuai????

Secara umumnya saya berpendapat memang ibu yang menyusu badan akan menghadapi pelbagai cabaran. Sebagai permulaan, suami tak payah risau nak bangun malam untuk buat susu sebab paling kuat kena kejutkan isteri bila anak merengek nak susu (saya dalam kategori ini). Kiranya tanggungjawab mengurus keperluan menyusu badan memang eksklusif tugas si ibu. Kalau yang bekerja pula mungkin menghadapi kesukaran untuk menyediakan susu yang telah diperah untuk dibekalkan ke rumah pengasuh sepanjang tempoh si ibu bekerja. Selain itu, kemudahan di tempat awam dan lain-lain premis di luar rumah yang tidak ‘user friendly’ bagi ibu-ibu yang menyusukan boleh mengundang masalah apabila perlu menyusu bayi. Begitu juga persepsi sebahagian masyarakat yang memandang sinis dan serong bila melihat ibu yang menyusukan anak di khalayak.

Saya selalu mengatakan perbuatan menyusukan bayi adalah suatu naluri dan sifat semulajadi manusia yang dijadikan Tuhan. Oleh sebab itu kenapa perlu merasa susah atau malu untuk melakukannya. Isteri saya tidak bekerja maka saya tak boleh berkongsi bagaimana nak menangani keperluan menyusu badan bagi ibu-ibu yang bekerja. Apa yang saya boleh kongsi cuma ada pendapat yang bercanggah, ada yang kata breast pump manual lebih bagus dan ada yang kata jenis auto lebih bagus.

Pump jenis apa yang lebih bagus???  Lain orang lain pendapatnya

Apa yang saya boleh sarankan adalah apapun situasinya cubalah cari jalan supaya bayi kita masih boleh menikmati khasiat susu badan walaupun ibunya bekerja. Sedikit maklumat (link) untuk ibu-ibu yang bekerja dan mahu meneruskan menyusu badan.

Cabaran yang saya lihat sendiri adalah apabila ibu perlu menyusukan anak di tempat awam dan terpaksa berhadapan dengan kemudahan yang tidak ‘user friendly’ ie tiada tempat khas dan persepsi masyarakat terhadap ibu yang menyusukan anak dengan susu badan in public. Bagi saya dalam situasi ini ibu-ibu tak perlu malu atau melengah menyusukan bayi sehingga bayi melalak kehausan. Tak ada salahnya, tak ada apa-apa yang perlu dimalukan……..susukan sahaja bayi anda di mana sahaja dan bila-bila masa sahaja!!! Pastinya jika ada pilihan ibu-ibu ini bolehlah cari sudut-sudut yang jauh sedikit dari penglihatan orang ramai, tapi apa yang berlaku pada saya contohnya…..pangkin kosong terdekat adalah di hadapan pintu masuk I-Setan di KLCC. Dalam keadaan seperti ini saya nasihatkan jangan rasa malu dan takut dengan persepsi orang kerana keperluan bayi kita lebih penting…cumanya kita selindung setakat yang mampu seperti dengan meletak stroller di sebelah isteri atau kita berdiri di ‘kawasan terdedah’ isteri kita supaya orang susah nak terlihat. Namun saya masih ingat pandangan dan jelingan sesetengah orang bila isteri mengambil keputusan menyusu badan in public tapi saya buat tak kisah sahaja. Perlakuan paling natural – anak kehausan dan ibu menyusukan adalah ciptaan Tuhan, maka kenapa perlu rasa bersalah dan malu. Pastinya kita bukan nak berbangga dan dengan sengaja membiarkan si isteri terdedah tanpa segan silu. Kita cuba tutup sebaik mungkin, malah ada yang siap bawa kain atau kelubung tapi bagi saya penggunaan tuala kecil sudah memadai bagi mengelakkan isteri saya terdedah. Tetapi dalam usaha nak menyusukan tu kalau masih ada terdedah sikit atau terselak sikit pada saya tak ada masalah. Janji niat atau nawaitu kita bukan nak menunjuk-nunjuk dan kita ada usaha untuk menutup apa yang patut, jangan risau dengan pandangan orang. Biar Tuhan yang tentukan.

Menyusu badan adalah keadaan semulajadi ciptaan Tuhan.  Kenapa perlu malu atau rasa bersalah??

Saya tak pernah rasa bersalah, dan saya juga tak pernah meminta maaf bila isteri saya terpaksa menyusukan anak in public. Saya dan isteri hanya menjalankan tanggungjawab sebagai ibu bapa dan kalau itu bermakna terpaksa menyusukan di tempat awam maka itulah yang kami buat. Nasihat saya kepada ibu-ibu yang berdepan pengalaman ini, jangan rasa bersalah dengan pandangan orang seperti ini. Teruskan usaha anda sebaik mungkin untuk menyusukan bayi-bayi anda, walaupun semasa di luar rumah. InsyaAllah anak-anak kita akan mendapat manfaatnya dari usaha kita menyusukan mereka dengan susu badan. Kita cuma nak yang terbaik untuk anak kita, dan masyarakat kena hormati pendirian ini.

Saya sokong penyusuan bayi dengan susu badan, teruskan usaha anda!!!!!!

Pendapat Saya Mengenai Kesihatan dan Penjagaan Kanak-Kanak

Tajuk: Child Seat….boleh ke????

Kerajaan kita telahpun mengeluarkan peraturan mewajibkan penumpang belakang menggunakan tali pinggang keledar. Di negara kita yang kelihatannya tiada had dari jumlah penumpang yang boleh disumbat ke dalam kenderaan persendirian, peraturan ini nampak macam agak bertentangan. Bagaimana nak pakai tali pinggang bila ada lima atau enam orang yang terpaksa bersesak-sesak di tempat duduk belakang.

Saya memang tak ada jawapan untuk persoalan bagaimana nak kuatkuasa peraturan tali keledar di tempat duduk belakang. Dalam situasi kalau satu keluarga ada lebih dari 5 orang tapi tak mampu nak beli MPV, bagaimana nak patuhi peraturan ini. Rasa tak masuk akal pulak kalau cuma 3 orang di belakang wajib pakai dan yang lain tak wajib…huh, apa tujuan peraturan kalau aplikasinya sebegitu rupa. Hakikatnya itulah keadaannya di negara kita ni. Tapi apa yang saya nak kongsi adalah kepada mereka yang mempunyai pilihan, dengan fokusnya kepada mereka yang mempunyai anak-anak kecil serta aspek keselamatan anak-anak ini semasa di dalam kenderaan. Memang di negara kita tidak dikuatkuasakan keperluan menggunakan tempat duduk kanak-kanak (child seat) di dalam kereta. Penggunaan tempat duduk ini sebenarnya amat penting bagi menjaga keselamatan anak-anak kita semasa di dalam kenderaan. Walaupun harganya mungkin agak mahal sikit, tapi sebenarnya ini adalah satu pelaburan yang amat saya sarankan. Kalau dilihat tempoh penggunaannya yang kerap dan untuk jangka waktu panjang bertahun-tahun, pelaburan bagi child seat sekitar harga RM 300 ke atas amat berbaloi. Tali pinggang belakang di dalam kereta kita direka untuk orang dewasa dan tidak sesuai untuk anak-anak kecil. Talinya kalau dipasang pada anak-anak nampak tak selamat kerana biasanya melintasi leher mereka dan pasti mengundang padah semasa kemalangan. Bagi menjimatkan kos, cuba beli child seat yang boleh digunakan bagi bayi kecil dan seterusnya boleh diselaraskan untuk kegunaan apabila bayi telah membesar. Dalam situasi saya, child seat yang mula-mula saya beli boleh digunakan sejak lahir sehinggalah anak-anak saya berumur 4 tahun. Lepas tu siap boleh bagi pada kawan lagi kerana keadaannya masih baik.

Jenis untuk bayi

Jenis untuk bayi dilengkapi tali pinggang keselamatan khas

Child seat ada pelbagai jenis, dari untuk kegunaan bayi sehinggalah untuk kegunaan kanak-kanak sekolah. Anak-anak kembar saya semasa bayi menggunakan child seat yang boleh diselaraskan (adjustable bucket seat) supaya dapat dibaringkan semasa mereka tidur. Child seat ini juga dilengkapi tali keselamatannya sendiri dengan tali pinggang keledar tempat duduk belakang digunakan sebagai ‘pengikat’ child seat ini di tempatnya. Anak-anak saya mula diletakkan di dalam child seat ini sebaik sahaja meninggalkan hospital dengan berat masing-masing 1.8kg dan 2kg (tak cukup bulan). Penggunaan jenis yang boleh dibaringkan ini hanya sesuai sehingga mereka mencecah 18kg iaitu sekitar umur mereka 4 tahun lebih.

 

Anak-anak saya menggunakan child seat jenis ini dari lahir sehingga umur 4 tahun lebih

Seterusnya saya menukar kepada jenis child seat yang boleh menampung sehingga kanak-kanak sekolah rendah dengan berat 36kg yang masih lagi digunakan sehingga kini. Jenis ini lebih sesuai untuk kanak-kanak yang besar sedikit. Selain tidak lagi dilengkapi tali keselamatan sendiri tetapi menggunakan tali keledar kereta, ianya turut ada pelapik di sisi bahagian kepala untuk menampung anak-anak semasa mereka tidur, dan semasa impak sisi.

Jenis child seat ini adalah untuk kanak-kanak yang lebih besar menggunakan seat belt kereta sebagai tali keselamatan untuk anak-anak

Anak-anak di child seat baru mereka, siap boleh improvise untuk makan berlapikkan bantal tu....

Bagi jarak dekat pula, saya menggunakan ‘booster seat’ bagi meninggikan tempat duduk anak-anak agar mereka dapat menggunakan tali pinggang keledar di belakang tanpa talinya merentasi leher mereka.





Booster seat seperti ini untuk perjalanan dekat saya gunakan dalam MyVi saya untuk hantar anak-anak ke sekolah tadika ataupun mengaji

Saya kerap melihat anak-anak kecil dipangku di tempat duduk hadapan, malah ada yang memangku di tempat duduk pemandu sambil memandu. Tidak kurang juga anak-anak yang berdiri di belakang antara kedua-dua kerusi hadapan kerana ingin melihat pandangan ke hadapan semasa kereta bergerak….bayangkan risikonya sekiranya pemandu menekan brek mengejut atau lebih dahsyat sekiranya berlaku kemalangan. Saya juga biasa mendengar bagaimana anak-anak tidak mahu dipasangkan tali keledar kerana merasa tidak bebas dan menangis apabila dalam keadaan demikian. Begitu juga bayi-bayi yang sentiasa nak dipangku dan akan menangis kalau tak dipangku dalam kereta. Susah juga......Habis tu bagaimana nak guna Child Seat....boleh ke? Bagaimana pula kalau bayi masih menyusu badan? Lagi susah.....

Saya tak ada jawapan sempurna bagi semua persoalan yang dinyatakan. Apa yang saya boleh kongsi, saya rasa anak-anak saya berjaya didudukkan di child seat kerana saya menerapkan penggunaannya dari awal dan melakukannya tanpa kompromi sehingga anak-anak saya menerimanya sebagai sebahagian ‘rutin’ naik kereta. Maksudnya kalau naik kereta mesti, tanpa gagal, duduk di child seat.....walaupun pada jarak yang dekat. Kalau ikut pengalaman saya, keadaan paling sukar adalah semasa perjalanan jauh ketika anak-anak masih bayi. Isteri saya duduk di seat depan, dan anak-anak di child seats di belakang. Mereka pula masih menyusu badan.....dan ini berlarutan hingga mereka umur 2 tahun. Isteri akan ‘lompat’ ke belakang kalau nak bagi anak-anak menyusu atau bila anak-anak meragam, dan ‘lompat’ semula ke seat depan bila anak-anak dah okay. Alhamdulillah sehingga besar ni, anak-anak saya masih boleh duduk di child seat. Kekadang tu terkompromi juga terutamanya akhir-akhir ni bila mereka dah pandai berunding (negotiate). Kekadang seorang jer duduk di belakang, yang lagi seorang akan duduk di seat depan (terutamanya kalau Mamanya tak ikut). Namun tetap pakai seat belt, dan saya sendiri kekadang ditegur anak-anak kalau lambat pasang seat belt.

Saya rasa teknik saya berjaya dengan menggunakan pendekatan tidak berkompromi sebab ini membabitkan keselamatan. Seterusnya saya dan isteri sentiasa terangkan kenapa mereka kena duduk di dalam child seat masing-masing. Dan akhir sekali, saya dan isteri juga sentiasa memakai tali keledar walaupun perjalanan yang dekat. Alhamdulillah, anak-anak telah menerima bahawa duduk di child seat adalah sebahagian dari rutin naik kereta.

Child seat dan seat belt untuk anak-anak........ tentu boleh.