Selamat Tinggal Abah

Abah passed away on 11 Aug 09, 20 Syaaban 1430 at about 3.15pm and I buried him the next day at about 11am.

To be honest, letting him go was not as difficult as I thought….I wondered why initially. Why did I not feel so sad?…Yes, I did shed my tears….the sharp pain of my loss really hit me twice; the first time was at about 2 am as I sat next to his motionless body reciting the Yassin and then I asked God in my doa to forgive him for all his sins and to reward him with a place in heaven for all his good deeds…The second was when I kissed his forehead, bidding him “Selamat tinggal Abah” before the last piece of kain kafan was wrapped around his face. I had waited for a while and wondered if the feeling was ever going to intensify further…..but Alhamdulillah it did not. I am sad that Abah is gone…..I can’t lie about that. But I think I can accept the fact that he is really gone…and it’s okay.

Abah had survived stroke at least 4 times. His second stroke was pretty severe. He only recovered his ability to walk and eat properly through acupuncture despite the slim hope given by the doctor at the government hospital. I took him through the 6 acupuncture sessions and watched his remarkable improvement with each session. He experienced a few more attacks later and came out of each one a bit more fragile than before. He was at home as his health deteriorated till the point that Mak decided to quit her job more than a month ago to take care of him.

A few years ago till the end of his life, Abah had this amazing ability to describe in details events and people from many years ago…I even took him to relocate a Guru Agama (religious teacher) whom he had not met for at least 20 years…and he could direct me to the place almost without any assistance.

I decided recently to document Abah’s early life experience when he and his family crossed the Strait of Malacca on a small boat from his Kampung Singgalang, Jambi, Sumatera in search for a better living in this country. Maybe this is another story to tell in my future blog entry.

I had the urge to visit Mak and Abah the weekend before his demise. Thought it was a good idea to visit before puasa. I heard him laugh as he and Mak recounted their recent visit to Kak Lina’s house in Kuantan. We especially enjoyed the part about his trip to the beach. Abah had the strong urge to get into the water but he fell almost immediately as his frail frame could not withstand the smallest of wave. Abah tried to convince us that the wave really was strong…but we all knew better. I think he really enjoyed his last outing…and I am really glad he took that long trip to Kuantan.

During my last weekend with him I felt that he needed a shave and Lin also pointed out that his fingernails were long. I am glad I decided to take the time to sit with him as I shaved his beard and moustache, and trimmed all his nails. He looked younger after I was done and I jokingly warned Mak that he could still attract the ladies. And later, when I first saw his lifeless body lying on the bed, I was convinced that the trip I made, the urge I had to shave his beard and moustache, and trim his nails were all the bits that were already “tersirat” leading to his departure from living.

And finally, upon hearing the news of Abah leaving us forever, I made a promise to myself that I would get myself involved as much as possible with all the preparations, and I managed to do just that; holding him as we move him to the bed, reading Yassin by his side, bathing him, wrapping him with the kafan, performing Solat Jenazah, accompanying him as he was taken to his final resting place, holding his coffin as we took him out of the kereta jenazah…and finally receiving him as he was being lowered into the grave and placing him into the "liang lahad". It felt good that I got to do all those for him….And the whole arrangements were easy….everything was in order with lots of help from everybody around…..and I truly believe that Allah made it easy for us all. And that’s great….and I am hopeful that Abah is going to be okay.

And now I think I understand why I do not feel that sad knowing that Abah is gone.....
……My feeling is that he is going to be okay.
……I had the pleasure of being close to him as we shared wonderful moments a few days before his death.
……I did my duty as his son to take care of him as we sent him to his final resting place.
……and I know that I can still reach him through my doa for him and by being a good son to carry on his legacy…..

”Selamat Tinggal Abah”.


Semoga Allah mengampunkan dosa-dosa Abah, semoga Allah jauhkan Abah dari siksa kubur dan api neraka, dan semoga Allah kurniakan balasan syurga atas segala kebaikan Abah dan tempatkan Abah di sisinya bersama orang-orang yang beriman….Amin.